(My Travels in Vanishing Cause)
“I had to hide myself, knowing that time was a factor for my retuning”
It was realized that my disappearance had nothing to do with Hitler’s or that of Maria Orsic, before I had embarked myself with it, a storyline to the journey of a long silence. I build my nest on the branches of the solitude, asking myself to breathe out the song. I sing and I listen but my echo reaches India’s village, the east and west I read in Kipling’s poem that shall never twain together.
American writer Ambrose Bierce who became one of my favorites, once went missing but his disappearance was never traced down. Similarly, mystery author Agatha Christie who became an aspect of her own disappearance stunned me to be the same but in more different manner. I wanted to vanish from the casual ways, the chaos and many smiles that often confuses one. I was silent for a moment’s joy and that silence became my companion through the discourse I started to take on.
I went ahead to disappear without much proof or my whereabouts to anyone who wished for me or not. It was a long absence and time gave enough space to think and sketch down my thoughts in a reflective reflex. For the time been, no one cared about me, where I got away, my life is closed down in a book of dreams.
I kept vanishing for a couple of months, I came with the sun and went with the moon. The day and night were just calculations that I felt in-between a long distance of scale. I left everything, my sleep and some of my whores whom I took turns when the night whispered.
All time was fixed to meet the challenge of daring to disappear and I discovered the reality of life, my wings went flying like a unicorn. I knew the world was changing with the re-election of Trump to the oval office, wars still on-going among countries with little interest to pursue peace in hour of disaster. Remember the day returns and I had to come back from my hideous life, knowing that I have to face many interrogation, many lips are awaiting to hear my story at all.
I came back from a world where no one knew, where no one came and where no one can reach.
Sidharth P K
